Disturbing the Peace – Tablet Magazine

Posted: Friday, August 19, 2016

Shalom, and welcome back to Refaeli Watch—not to be confused with Trump Watch—Tablet’s ongoing coverage of the comings, goings, family life, and public statements of Israeli supermodel Bar Refaeli! For those of you new to this feature (or those of you who simply forget everything I write minutes after you’ve read it), let’s recap: Refaeli is a Victoria’s Secret Angel who’s notable because she’s excelled in a pocket of the fashion industry not exactly teeming with Jewish women, save for, say, Esti Ginzburg, Shlomit Malka, and Gal Gadot, who’s kind of on to bigger and better things than the catwalk (read: being Wonder Woman). And in case you’re already feeling defensive and desiring to lecture me on how beautiful Jewish girls are/can be/will be forever and ever, let me just say this: I agree with you! And this is coming from the only woman in the known history of her family to have ever cracked 5’5”.

Unlike Gadot, who was a combat trainer, Refaeli never served in the IDF. She dated Leonardo DiCaprio for five years, tying Gisele Bundchen for his longest relationship ever. (Whatever you say about Leo, you can’t say he doesn’t have a type.) Recently, she settled down with a nice Jewish boy, Israeli businessman Adi Ezra, and got pregnant. A week ago, in Tel Aviv, she finally gave birth to a daughter, named Liv. Mazel tov! (Side note: Is it just me, or do celebrity pregnancies often seem to go long past the normal gestational period? Do they announce them earlier than regular people because they’re imbued with a level of confidence in their charmed lives that there will be no chance, not ever, of a miscarriage or chromosomal abnormality or other such complications? Why am I using so many parentheticals?)

This week, her neighbors called the cops to investigate a 4 a.m. noise disturbance at Refaeli’s house. The Refaelis, it seems, were reportedly throwing a party, and more power to Bar for not letting a newborn cramp her style. I guess in Israel they don’t have the same requirements they do here, where you basically have to shoot your entire body up with vaccines and put on a hazmat suit before someone will let you in the same room with their new baby. Refaeli’s father, Rafi, however, wasn’t too pleased by the interruption and was arrested following what was described as a “physical and verbal confrontation” with two female police officers. He was released but is now confined to his home (or Bar’s, who knows).

I wasn’t there so I don’t know what happened. Maybe you were and you can tell me. In any case, I have to say, is there anything more hilariously and perfectly Israeli-sounding than feeling free to yell at the police when they show up at your granddaughter’s baby naming party (or whatever it was supposed to be), only to have the police call your bluff and drag you off to jail to cool down? I realize this is full of problematic generalizations, but there’s something about the blend of entitlement, candor, allegiance to family, and indomitable stubbornness that seems as emblematic to the culture as, say, ennui is to the French, or going completely crazy every four years during the presidential election cycle is to Americans. You may disagree, but as far as I am concerned, this is just another perfect illustration that Bar Refaeli and her family are the ultimate symbols of the Jewish state.

Until the next Refaeli Watch, shalom!

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