There’s No Fucking Way Karlie Kloss Goes to NYU – NYU Local

Posted: Thursday, February 02, 2017

NYU has had many celebrities march through the hallowed halls of, I don’t know, let’s say Bobst. Many of those celebrities attended our university before they were famous (Anne Hathaway, Aziz Ansari), but some of them chose to attend our our beautiful corporation-masking-as-a-place-of-higher-learning after they had become stars. There’s the Sprouse twins, the Olsen twins, and the twins from this Vine:

As of September 2015, although she is not a famous twin, supermodel/Taylor Swift BFF Karlie Kloss has attended NYU. Allegedly.

Nervous… for what?

Based on some minor sleuthing (I follow her on Instagram) and some major common sense (I know how going to school works), I have come to the conclusion that there is no feasible way Karlie Kloss actually attends NYU.

The spring semester has just begun and it’s a time when students are usually stressing over how to drop the class where the professor is so old he might die mid-lecture. You know who’s not doing that? Karlie Kloss.

The rumors are true… Karlie Kloss is a fake NYU student

As of one day ago the model was in Melbourne drinking coffee and certainly not at Strand trying to find the cheaper version of the books she needs for her African American Novels of the 20th Century class.

But, ok, maybe she’s taking the semester off. She is a busy woman, I get that. Let’s go back to last semester. Kloss kicked off what should be her sophomore year with a time honored tradition, the back-to-school selfie.

There’s no lie here, it was, technically, that time of year… for actual students

She’s been to the bookstore! Or ordered that sweatshirt online. Who knows. What we do know is that five out of her next six Instagrams are from BURNING MAN.

Imagine trying to pull that shit with a professor. “Sorry, I have to miss the first week of school, Cara and I are going to the desert because, um, art?”

Karlie, if you needed an excuse to wear a top hat, I know a couple slam poetry nights!

Don’t worry though, the next week Kloss came back to school.

Who writes on that part of the paper? Is she writing the date? Did class just start? What’s happening?

Are you thinking, “Literally what building in NYU looks like that? We don’t have desks like that,” you’re right! We don’t! And that’s because this photo is from a Vogue spread that came out in 2010. Just so we’re super clear here, that’s six years earlier than when she posted it as her “I came back from Burning Man and am ready to learn!” picture.

Fast forward to finals. It’s December 2016. The entryway to Bobst has been engulfed in American Spirit smoke. The line at Starbucks is long enough to reach the other Starbucks. Students are in the middle of papers and group projects and papers about how their group projects went.

Where’s Karlie? Throughout the semester she had been to the south of France, Venice, Paris, and Tokyo. NYU has campuses in one of those locations. But, ok, surely she’d come back to the Washington Square campus for finals. She has to.

NOPE.

Kloss was in Sydney followed by Honolulu. I was in Brooklyn pretending that a lot of trail mix counts as dinner.

But hey, it’s the 21st century. We have the internet. Maybe she’s been doing her work via NYU’s handy email service. You know. The emails that literally everyone at NYU has. How helpful it is that when you type someone’s name in to the address field their address just pops up.

Huh. That’s weird. Well, she is super famous. So maybe…

Please don’t talk to me about how many drafts I have

It appears that Kloss does not have an NYU email.

This is fishy. Fishy enough that NYU Local reached out to the university about whether or not Kloss is actually a student and what her major might be.

James Devitt, the Deputy Director of Media Relations for the university, forwarded our inquiry to Kloss’s team (we’ll get there), but not before telling us that, “Ms. Kloss is at Gallatin, which has no majors…” For the record, those ellipses are part of the quote.

Kloss’s team was prompt to respond to us, saying that, “She is still a matriculated student and has not chosen a concentration yet.”

A matriculated student. That is, more or less, a tricky way of saying that Kloss has an Albert account but isn’t enrolled in classes.

Kloss does have one very strong connection to the university, though. She is dating Josh Kushner, whose father leased a building to the NYU on the cheap the same year that his other son, Jared, started graduate school at the university.

So Karlie Kloss probably doesn’t actually go to NYU. She’s probably never gotten food poisoning at Downstein or brought tequila into Kimmel to make an event more sufferable. But we here at Local are willing to welcome her to our school with open arms if she ever wants to come back. If she wants to drunk/sober/high fashion week with us, we’re around.

If you have any tips about whether or not Karlie Kloss actually goes here, please email them to tips@nyulocal.com.

Additional reporting by Addy Baird.

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